truth is... {fruit}

truth is…

some days when I’m walking from point A to point B and just casually conversing with my Creator, in my head I blurt out questions whose answers catch me by surprise.

this, by far, has been the most bizarre winter I’ve ever experienced in almost 20 years of existence. it was December and I was still walking back to my dorm in flip flops in the rain. (granted, the flip flops MAY not have been a necessarily wise choice.) as I walked, marveling at this anomaly they were calling December, I thought, “God, how on earth can you call this winter if there isn’t any snow??” and you know, immediately I felt like Job when God rebuked him and asked him who it was that darkened his counsel without knowledge. the Lord seemed to come back with a biting response.

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I tell you?”

I’ve been SLOWLY progressing through Luke this year, eating it up bit by bit and taking the time to work through some of the things you wrestle with when you’re examining the life of Christ. (it’s a little daunting, actually.) so, that was Luke 6:46, but back it up with me a bit. Dr. Luke here is recounting for us the Sermon on the Mount, and you’d be a fool to ignore what went on before this. you don’t walk into church right when the pastor is making his conclusion on the matter, so what on earth would possess you to do that now? (I’ll tell you what it is, and often, it’s pure laziness.) I’m not going to exegete the whole thing here, but I think it is important to acknowledge where Christ starts in pronouncing blessing and woes—he’s really speaking to bless the ears of those who already believe and catch those who don’t off guard. then he continues on for the believers in the crowd, reminding them of how they ought to be conducting themselves in light of their position.

verses 43-45 are where we’re really going to start digging. these verses set the very foundation upon which verse 46 is laid. Christ tells them what they ought to be doing and then calls them to examine their own lives.  looking at these verses, in common day vernacular, Christ could have said, “let’s just be real here: that apple tree over there isn’t just going to sprout poisonous berries out of nowhere, and that thistle isn’t about to pop out a healthy little mango. now let’s transfer that principle. people can pretend, but on a consistent basis, a person who actually loves me and is my child is not going to blatantly disobey the things I ask of them, and a person who is not my child and doesn’t love me is not going to consistently obey the things I ask of my children. what you say and do only shows to the world what your heart really believes.”

and on that foundation, he rebukes them. again, in layman’s terms, “why do you keep telling people you belong to me, but don’t act like it?? you’re telling us you’re an orange tree and producing crab apples.” I can imagine he may have been a little frustrated by this point. I would have been. I do this to God all the time. I say I belong to God, but I lose control of my tongue. I say I’m a child of the King, but I idolize the things of this world. my words and my actions do NOT line up, especially as of late, they have not. for all of the times I’ve said that I trust the Lord, and that he knows what’s best, I still find myself acting like I don’t and he doesn’t. it’s this strange form of Christian atheism that we kindly term “worry”.

why do I call Him my Lord, and fail to simply obey him and trust his judgment? the simple answer: because I’m a faulty human being. but the real question: why does he continue to extend his grace to me for the journey even when I disobey and scoff his ultimate wisdom? there is no simple answer. because he is God, and he is loving. he does all that he pleases. and for this, I am thankful.

truth is... {God with us.}

truth is…

I was reminded as of late that this time of year I remember why I’ve become thankful for my “grandma”  name over the years. I can’t sing “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” or hear “Behold A Virgin Shall Conceive” from Handel’s “Messiah” or read the Christmas story without seeing my name pop up in the Bible: Emmanuel.

don’t get me wrong or call me a crazy here before you hear me out. it catches my attention every time, because unlike all of the Mary’s and Grace’s in the world, I NEVER see my name in a church service unless I royally biffed something or I’m supposed to be on diaper duty in the nursery. it catches me by surprise, and like any normal girl, I wonder what cool thing my name could mean since it’s a part of Christ’s name. (turns out it means “one who is whole, or complete one”…which makes sense considering the nature of God as self-sufficient, but oh, the irony considering the post prior to this one…) then I take my I’m-a-big-girl-and-this-is-real-life pill and think about what that really means. Emmanuel: God with us.

God –good—holy and loving. Transcendent and imminent, omniscient, sovereign, and good. Personal, yet infinite. Creator of the ends of the universe, even the ones we will never see. Sustainer of all life. Preserver of his children. Keeper of the stars and sun and moon. Bringer of the dawn every morning and the seasons every year. Signer of the pages of history. THIS very God is the God we’re speaking of. The righteous God, whose very nature is perfectly contrary to sin. The God who, in perfection and perfect justice, has every right to crush me for my sins. “If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?” (Ps. 130:3)

with

us. humans—created imago Dei. like God, possessing personality, creativity, transcendence, intelligence, and morality. capable of knowing God, communicating with God, loving God—through his son. but unlike God from birth, using our abilities to curse him. by nature being children of wrath and sons of destruction. spurning his face and chasing selfish desires that will not ultimately satisfy, yet being so proud that we would love ourselves to destruction.

that’s right. God was with us, in human form.  He sent Christ, who walked this earth, breathed our air, knew our hardships, carried our sorrows. He sent his only Son—turned his back on his only Son—to be the very object of his wrath saved to be spent on mankind for their rebellion. and what did we do? we mocked him. we falsely accused him, beat him, crucified him, and buried him in the ground like a disease we were finally rid of. but death couldn’t hold a spotless lamb, no, that was just the means. the means by which Christ was to enter the very gates of death, and once for all take its power. and when it was completely done, he rose from the grave with all of the fullness of the Father’s glory, with life eternal for all who believe. and then he ascended to heaven, where he awaits his final reign on the earth. God was with us. but that’s not all.

Emmanuel does not simply mean that God was with us and has now returned to his center court seats to watch the rest of the game unfold. it means so much more than that. it’s a promise. for the believer, it’s the promise that God, who lives in heaven above, who sent his Son that we might have peace while on earth, will reside in the hearts of those who lay claim to his promises and He will never leave.

Emmanuel meant God with us, forever.

just another day in the life…

well, it’s bearing down upon us—finals week. but I have to admit, you’d think the week right after Thanksgiving break was finals week of my senior year with the way my brain was functioning. (or, to be honest, not functioning!)

I was so excited—with the year winding down, I was beginning to find hours that I didn’t know what to do with, or rather, didn’t HAVE to know to know what to do with. I knew precisely what I wanted to do with them. I have a list a mile long of things I’ve wanted to do since the beginning of the year. finish knitting the scarf I’m making mom for Christmas…read a few books I’ve been ten pages into for four months…PRACTICE TRUMPET!!! let me explain something to you all quickly: I came into college as a Music Education major, and when I was I so disliked having to practice for hours like I was filling a quota (because I was). now that I’m Social Studies Education, I covet having hours to practice and just…play.  so when an hour came along one Wednesday afternoon after choir, I LEPT at the opportunity.

and let me tell you: that was one prime practice session. I had my full range in full force, and then just for fun, I pulled out the cheater mouthpiece to see how high I could get squealing. let’s just say that a) I feel less pressure to hit notes when I’m alone, and b) Gordon Goodwin would be proud. got to working through a few of the “new” pieces we had received in band that morning, hammered out a few licks, brushed up a few old pieces…it was a grand time. aaannnd then I looked at my phone. which read: 4:02 PM. I’m quite sure that the look of dread on my face at that moment could have caused a gracious act on the part of a hardened criminal. all semester I’ve been in a class called “Christian Life 2”, from 3:30-5:30 on Wednesday afternoons. that day I had a final. aaand…the way I booked it out of Old Main then would have made Road Runner look bad. I got to the class, gasping for air at 4:05 and explain the entire situation to my teacher, whose only response (laughter aside) was, “are you okay?” he let me sit down and I finished my final in 15 minutes…just as I caught my breath.

there’s really not too much more to the story. I went around telling people who looked like they needed a good laugh that day of how blonde I was, and reveled in the grace of God. once again, he could have let me flounder, but he’s loving. and once again, this little life becomes a testimony to grace. 

truth is...

some days it feels like you can’t get what you want.

truth is that sometimes weeks feel that way. sometimes months, or, in this case, a semester. do not misunderstand me, I’m not complaining that I don’t have a good life—I do. I have everything I need, and most everything I want. I have a family that loves me and counts down the days until I come home again. I have friends that would do outrageous things for me, and love me despite the outrageous things I do. I have money in a bank account, and I do NOT have student loans. yet. I have a job, a grandma with Alzheimer’s who still remembers me, a car, Christmas lights on my bed, and more opportunities than you can shake a stick at. (who on earth coined that one?)

so where does this come from? why do I look at John 14:14 and feel like God is holding out on me? what happened to, “If  you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”? I’m not going to let myself off of the “crazy” hook so easily as to say that there’s no way I’m the only person who’s ever felt this way. I may be crazy, but I know this can’t be a personal phenomenon.

but really? do you ever look want to throw your head back, and spitefully whisper, “you know, God, if you are so loving, why can’t I have this? if you’re so powerful, why can’t you give me this and make this and that work out perfectly. I’ve already figured out exactly what needs to happen and you can just get on the same page already. that is, if you love me.”?

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (emphasis mine.)

straight from the mouth of the Savior, John 14:15. ironically enough, immediately following the verse that offers us free petition before God and answers to prayer. but the issues doesn’t lie with God, it lies with faulty human understanding. you see, the word for “name” in Greek (which never ever copies into this format for me :)) “ὄνομα”, really means to ask in one’s interest. it’s their way of saying, “hey, if you ask me to do, within the boundaries of what you know I already want to do—I’ll do it!” and that sounds selfish. I mean, if you or I were to say that, then yes it would be selfish and plain wrong. because, let’s be frank: we don’t choose perfect things naturally. God, on the other hand, well, he is not capable of not being perfect. therefore, all that he chooses to do is perfect. in all reality, it’s the most loving thing he could do. he gives us every perfect thing we ask for, from his perspective.

is this all coming together a little? see where I’m headed with this? God loves us, so he only sends us perfect things, not just everything we ask for.we see how GOOD God is when we see that all that he gives us, petitioned for in his name is good, and to this we can't help but respond with love! when someone seems to always have the right words and actions towards you all the time, you can't help but want to tell them you love them! which segues nicely into his very next sentence: if you love me, you will keep my commandments. it’s simple. we don’t run a barter system with our God, telling him that if he does something for us, we’ll return the favor. we see how all that he gives us is good, and so we love him. then out of that love comes our obedience when we can’t quite see his plans as good yet. and trust me, obedience in the in-betweens makes the journey all the more rewarding. it makes the in-betweens as much a time of grace as the times when we clearly see God’s grace at work, because it’s then that we acknowledge its sustaining power. you can’t always get what you want, but it is true, you do get what you need—you get what is best. and this spurs us on to love and obedience while we’re waiting.